Kennedyisms. And then some

K: My first name is princess Jasmine, my middle name is Gizelle, and my last name is Sleeping Beauty.
M: That's a beautiful name. What is my name?

K: Ashley.

"When we get a new house with a new backyard, we can build a CARNIVAL!! And all my friends can come. And yours, too. And we'll have a merry go round, a turning wheel and lots and lots of popcorn."

[As we were leaving my grandmother's house]

"I love those Barbies. Grandma just has such wonder, beautiful, amazing Barbies for all the kids to play with. And boy Barbies for the boys. Because they don't like girl Barbies."

K: I love all my cousins. And you love them too, right, dad?

D: Yes, I love them all.
K: And your daughter.

D: Yes, and my daughter.

K: Ouch.
M: What happened, babe?
K: When I pinch my bum it hurts.
M: ... I'm sorry... why did you pinch your bum?
K: [very matter-of-factly] To see if it would hurt.

... and then some...

My current emotions:

Anticipation:
-Justin only has 2 more months of school. Then graduation. Then Hawaii.

- In case you hadn't noticed my little countdown on my page, I only have about 8 days left until I leave for Hawaii... the first time.

Sorrow:
- I have a few friends who have lost their jobs. And it makes me sad.

Unsurprised:
- Kennedy took swimming lessons. She now will finally put her head under the water without screaming bloody murder. But only where she can reach the bottom and only if no one is touching her.

Excitement:
- My BFF Ashlee is engaged! Woo hoo!

- We just bought a house, today!
(And this is a picture of it. I am inviting all of you over for a beach party.)


Annoyed:
- All of the crap in my house won't seem to pack itself. I must have misplaced my magic wand.

Hopeful:
- I'm hoping that after this move, we won't have to move again for a freaking long time, since it appears to be a trend for us to move at least 1-2 times per year.

Tired:
- Do I really need an explanation for this one?

Nature

As difficult as it is to believe, amidst the snow and bitter cold, life is anew...


...and there is also sunshine. And since there is so little sunshine this time of year, we must soak it in every chance we get. Even if that means sitting on the only spot on the floor in the entire house where the sun is actually shining.

Mermaids

Even Ariel (the only REAL mermaid) was adorned with a new fashionable fin.

Kennedyisms

First off, let me say that I am quite proud of myself for blogging as often as I have been, lately, since that was, in fact, one of my non-resolutions. That being said, I really think it is the only one I've followed through with. Oh well. As is life.

On with the Kennedyisms:

"Mmmm. I'm so excited to eat my pizza. But I'm going to have to wait 'til it un-hots."


[The dialogue between her toys:]

Queen: [in a british accent] Daughtah! You ahh sitting next to a drahgon!!
Princess: Oh, it's ok, mother. He's a nice dragon.
Q: No, no, Drahgons ahh meeeeean!! AGHHH!
P: Ahh! Let's run away from him!
Q&P: Run, run, run.


[While we were at the the cesspool, aka Jungle Jim's, she met a boy - a cousin of a cousin - who was about 8 or 9. He went on all the rides with her and they had a blast together. Here is what she said to me as we were leaving:]

K: I wish I could see that boy again... I'm going to marry him.
M: Really? Wow. Well, he was a nice boy.
K: He is SOOOOO cute... Next time I see him at Jungle Jim's, I'll ask him what his name is.



K: [Humming my phone's ringtone- The Office theme] hmm..hmmm...
M: [pretending to answer my phone] Hello?
K: Hi, mom! I'm not home. I'm at Kaitlyn's house.
M: Well how fun! I miss you! When are you coming home?
K: I don't know... like maybe 15, 10, or 1,000, or maybe 6 minutes. We'll see. Ok bye. Love you.

Good times, good times.

This last Friday I watched Janica's cute little girls overnight.

Kennedy and Kaitlyn are exactly 10 weeks apart (right, Janica?), and have known each other since they were born. Aww, how cute.

As they played "house," Kennedy delegated roles: she would be the mom, Kaitlyn would be the dog and Brooklyn (who is about a year and a half younger) would be the baby. Naturally, Kaitlyn didn't want to be the family dog. So they decided to both be moms. And they were excellent mothers, might I add.


As the day/night/day wore on, they shared stories of Disneyland, favorite movies, vomiting experiences, scary spiders and dance moves.

And Kennedy insisted on wearing a leotard.

I love these girls.

Baby Mama

I have the best mom in the world. Please don't argue with me. I already know I'm right. And I will tell you why.


She has loved me unconditionally since the day I was born. And I am sure of that.

She has always supported me. No matter what I wanted to do with my life. In fact, I remember once when I was a teenager, she had said to me "You know, Ashley... if you decided you are a lesbian, I would be ok with that. I would still love you." I thought she was completely insane when she had said that to me (since I was totally boy-crazy), but I understand now why she said it.

She is absolutely beautiful. In every way. I mean, just look how hot she looks in this swimsuit.

She dressed our family so cute. She always put me in cute clothes, made sure I matched, curled my hair... and as soon as I could do it all myself, I sucked at it.

(see below)





And even though her children decided to be completely nerdy and lack all sense of style, she was still so proud of us. Even when I went through my totally awkward stage where I wore pop-can tops for all of my jewelry, and pants that were 3 sizes too big for me because they were "cool," and dyed my hair with kool-aid, she still loved me. I can't even begin to fathom how tough that would have been for a mother.

She and her siblings are extremely odd. And I love them dearly. It makes family gatherings SO much fun. They have the weird gene. She totally passed it on to my brother. It must have skipped me because, seriously... I mean... anyone you talk to will tell you I am SO not weird. Really. No, honestly. . . What, you don't believe me? Psh. Whatever.

Anyway, she is very silly. And it makes it so much fun to be around her. She also encourages my silly side. One particular day when Ashlee and I were about 14, we were at my house and my mom convinced us that each piece of furniture had a distinct "pitch." So my mother had a great laugh at our expense as Ashlee and I went around to each bed/chair/wall and said "oh.... oh..." raising our voices up and down until it would resonate back to us so we'd know we found the right pitch. I can't believe we fell for that. She was so full of crap.

A few years ago, she moved up to Seattle. And although I miss her, it is so much fun to go visit her and have good quality mommy/daughter time.

She is super duper intelligent. If I ever have a question about pretty much any topic, I just ask her. She's like a walking Wikipedia. And dictionary. She is a word nerd.... and that quality has definitely begun to rub off on me.

She is a strong woman. She raised me on her own for a big part of my life. I am only now able to imagine how difficult that would have been.

She is more talented than anybody I know. Honestly. I have never known anyone who is SO gifted in so many areas: music, art, crafts, photography, computers, sewing, writing, business, web design... the list goes on.

She is always there when I need to talk. Especially if it's late at night, like 3 in the morning, since that's about how late she stays up.

I can always go to her for advice and I know she'll never judge me.

She has always called me "Baby." And still does. Every time we talk. And I love it.

She has shown me how to be a good mother.

If I ever get down on myself, she always knows how to boost me up. She believes in me and in what she knows I can do.

She is a fantastic grandmother. She always sends cute little packages for EVERY holiday, which contain anything from candy, decorations, photographs, to creatively-shaped pasta, magazines, etc. She is always thinking of me. And of others. She is extremely selfless and is always willing to help.

My mother taught me so many things:

Life is not black and white.
People aren't just "good" or "bad."
Love people for what they do and who they are. Not what they may believe.
Eat lunch with the kid who sits alone every day.
Love yourself.
BE yourself.
Be proud of who you are and what you can do.
You can do anything.
It's ok to be different.
It's ok to question.
Explore every avenue.
Follow your dreams.
You are worth it.
Boys are stupid.
Stand up for what you believe in.
Every girl needs a good cry once in a while.
You are strong.
You are loved.

I love you, mom.

A post void of all merriment

Apparently me going to a certain place twice this year (the name of the location is omitted in order to save some of you from having suicidal thoughts) is sending some people into depression. I just can't have all that weight on my shoulders. So this post is dedicated solely to ranting, hopefully making it a tad easier for all of you to feel a little bit better about your lives.

• Jungle Jim's Playland is the cesspool of all infectious diseases. I have had to go there 2 days in a row this week and I think I would rather slit my wrists than go there again this year.
  
  
• I love my crappy car until it decides to stop working. While I have 2 additional kids with me. At the squalid cesspool. After we've been there for 3.5 hours. Thank goodness for good samaritans with jumper cables.
  
  
• I am so freaking sick of this cold weather it's not even funny. I'm not going to show even a fraction of exuberance that it's been in the 40's. That's still almost freezing.
  
  
• I need some new shoes. Not want. Need.
  
  
• First I need more money. Don't we all.
  
  
• The more I try to eat "healthy," the more appealing that tub of cookie dough looks to me. And after I eat 1/2 to 3/4 of that tub of cookie dough, I begin the self-loathing process. And then I feel like I'm going to hurl because I ate enough cookie dough to feed an entire herd of elephants. Shortly thereafter I curse the world for providing sinful creations such as cookie dough. Then I curl up in a ball and sleep it off. The process is all very tiring.
  
  
• As soon as Christmas was over, all my daughter can talk about is what she wants for her birthday. It's not until June. Let's see if she gets anything at all for her birthday. Ingrate.

There. Everyone needs a good rant once in a while. Feel better? I sure do.

(Trust me, if I could take you all with me to the location-which-must-not-be-named-because-this-is-a-merriment-free-post, I totally would.)

Meow.

The cat's out of the bag.

May will be a good month, this year. Summer will be here. My husband will finally be graduating (RN). It is our 7-year anniversary. And since October of last year, I have been planning a surprise graduation/anniversary trip to Hawaii for Justin and myself during that month.
He had absolutely no clue. I was doing so well at keeping my little secret. And then... Flight of the Conchords had be all retarded and ruin my surprise. They're coming here 2 DAYS after we will be leaving for Hawaii. I found this out last week. I was hoping that my spousal unit wouldn't find out. However, he did. And here is the dreaded telephone conversation where the cat slowly creeped out of the bag:

A: Hello?
J: I have some really good news...
A: Ok, shoot.
J: Well, it will cost some $$, but it can be our anniversary present.
A: Sweet!
J: FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS ARE COMING TO SALT LAKE!!!
A: .... ... ...
J: In May....
A: ... ... uh huh ...
J: ... and tickets go on sale this weekend.
A: ... ... ...
J: So... what do you think?
A: ... ... uh ... ...
J: Why aren't you more excited about this?
A: Dammit.
J: What?
A: Dammit.
J: What?!?
A: *sigh*... I didn't want you to find out this way.

And then I proceeded to tell him about the not-so-surprise-anymore-because-it-was-ruined vacation. Yes, I could have lied. I SHOULD have lied. But he caught me off guard and I'm no good at lying on the spot. And let's face it, I prefer to place all blame on outside parties. So I'm blaming FOTC. They are dead to me for 10 minutes. But not longer than that because they are flippin' hilarious.
P.S. I'm also going to Hawaii in 30 days with my beautiful mother, aunt and cousin for a girl's trip! Woo hoo!! (Notice the change in header above.) And I hate how time crawls when you're excited for something. Ya know?

Should I be scared?

She dresses herself, making sure to include her "wedding gloves" and "princess glasses" in the ensemble. We drive on over to Old Navy. She notices a pole, skips over to it. . . and starts dancing... like- pole dancing. And singing. Aaaaand swinging her hips from side to side while placing one hand on her hip and the other around the pole. Eating up all of the attention from the fellow shoppers and O.N. employees.

Her father and I are a tad bit nervous for the future.

I can't help but giggle. I love this girl.

Getchyo groove on.

Last night Kennedy put on her dance clothes (aka swimsuit) and we got our groove on, shook our booties and our groove things, and twisted and shouted. For an hour and a half.


I am so sore today.

P.S. You are very lucky I didn't post any pictures of ME dancing. It may have cause an involuntary vomitous reaction.