Saturday. Lazy day?

Since Saturday is pretty much my only day off of work, you'd think it would be a lazy day. Sleep in, lounge around, read a book, watch a few movies with Kennedy, play with barbies, veg out, relax, etc. And then of course I could win the lottery, go to the spa, get a massage, then go live in a house on some tropical island where cute island boys fan me, shade me, and fetch me drinks at the snap of a finger.

OR

I could wake up to the sound of "MOM!! IT'S LIGHT OUTSIDE!! WAKE UP!!" Then drag my legs up the stairs, groggily scramble up some eggs and nuke some oatmeal for Kennedy, look at the pile of dishes in the sink and then be reminded of the massive mounds of dirty laundry downstairs, the piles of dust on the shelves, a kitchen floor crying to be mopped, carpet yearning to be vacuumed and toilet desperately needing to be scrubbed.

So I put on some Spongebob and I plop down in front of the computer because my blog was seriously calling for me to update it.

Lemme her an "Awwww"

As a woman, I am apt to complain. My boobs are too small. My butt is elephantine. I work too much. I'm hungry. I'm too short. My nose looks like that of a Greek God. Not in a good way. I have cottage cheese thighs. I don't earn enough money. My husband never gives me flowers. (Never = roughly once a year. Usually accompanied by an apology or on a holiday.)

Now I have one less thing to complain about. I got flowers. But this time, no holiday. No apology. In fact, no need for an apology. So why would he feel the need to buy me some beautiful flowers?


He missed me while I was in Denver. Awwwww.....

Simple choice

Ok. It's cold outside. Fuh-reeze-ing. Yeah, I know. It's winter. Duh. But seriously? Having to climb in through the passenger side door of my car in my high heels and work clothes because the lock on my door is frozen? Three times? I wasn't born for this type of weather.

And then I read about beautiful blossoming orange trees and 75 degree weather and it makes me want to vomit. Thanks, Michelle.

Seriously. Which would you prefer?




My point exactly.

P.S. After realizing that kicking and punching my computer wasn't going to make the virus die, I erased my hard drive and started from scratch. Problem fixed.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

GOOD: Denver was 70 degrees and just freaking beautiful. Every spare moment I had, when I was not sitting in a highly uncomfortable office chair listening to outrageously long, drawn-out presentations about title laws in North Dakota (oil and gas stuff) or gorging my face with delicious AND free food, I was walking down the streets jacket-free, enjoying the magnificent clear blue sky and soaking up some much needed Vitamin D from the spectacular sunshine. I doubt we'll have that kind of weather here in Utah for at least another 2 months, so I took full advantage.

BAD: Why in the $%@!^# do people feel like they are SO smart and can't find anything better to do with their time than to write and invent nasty viruses that infect the computers of innocent people? Seriously. I want to know. Because a @#!%#!%$!^&@ virus has attacked our computer and now it is pretty much messed up. It's INSANELY slow, a bunch of applications no longer work, and it's just plain stupid. Which also means (and this is DOUBLY bad) that I can't upload any of my pictures. Psh. I know. It just won't let me. Dumb, huh? !$#!#@$!%!! (Please excuse my @$@*!#%@ french.)

UGLY: The annual Utah inversion. I might as well be placing my mouth over an exhaust pipe when I walk outside. It makes me want to hurl.

and....

FUNNY: So I heard the best pick-up line ever while in Denver (not directed at me, of course). This older man (late 60's?) was sitting on the corner shining someone's shoes, like, for his job. As a girl who was wearing a skirt which showed a little [or a lot] of skin walked by, he yelled "Whoo! Someone bettah call McDonald's and let 'em know their recipe is walkin' down the street...'cause I'M LOVIN' IT!!"

I totally wish I would have known that line back when I was single. I would have used that, like, all the time.

Oh happy day

Where were you at 12:00 pm Eastern time, today? I sure hope it was in front of a television or computer witnessing the most historical inauguration ever. And if not, I sure hope you have a good excuse. Some of my co-workers and I gathered in one of the conference rooms and watched as Barack Obama stood in front of a crowd of thousands (I still can't believe how many people were there) and promised to lead our country faithfully and honestly. His speech that followed was inspirational, well-worded, moving and just all-around amazing. I cried. And shortly after that I was mocked by a few heartless co-workers for doing so.

I am proud to be an American. Go Obama!

And now I'm off to Denver for a few days for work. Wahoo. Please try not to miss me, as difficult as that may be.

Oh-and an update on my "resolutions": I HAVE been exercising quite regularly, surprisingly enough. And I've had less than 1 Judge brownie per week. But I think I've made up just fine for both of those by eating all of the chocolate I can find in and out of my house. (Halloween candy is still safe to eat, right?)

Kennedyism time!

K: Hey dad- when you get in heaven, I can have a cat and mommy can have a cat!
D: Oh... that's nice, Kennedy... but you know that when I'm in heaven, I won't be here with you.
K: Yeah, but you're allergic.


*Ashlee was sitting on the couch and I sat down next to her to feed one of the babies.*
K: Hey, I wanted to sit there.
Me: Sorry, I sat down first. You sit next to me.
Ashlee: Yep. You snooze, you lose.
K: [Very matter-of-factly] You fart, you stink.


K: [Noticing a poster of our soon-to-be president] Mom, look! It's Obama! He's our present!


*My friend had her cat on her lap and was rubbing its furry belly*
K: Are you trying to get the fart out of him?

Puppet Productions

Saturday = Justin is working. I finally have a day off. Kennedy is bored out of her mind.

Solution = Craft store!

Today's craft: Paper bag Puppets.

Spongebob: Hi, Patrick. How are you doing?
Patrick: Uh... I'm good, Spongebob, how are you?
S: Good. Do you wanna to go jelly-fishing?
P: Sure!
S: Ok, let's go!


Ariel: Hi, Cinderella. I like your hair.
C: Oh- I like yours, too.
A: Thanks. Kennedy's mom did it for me.
C: Really? Me too! Cool!
A: Yeah, cool! Do you wanna go to the park?
C: Oh yeah! Let's go. Wheeee!


A: Ahhhh!! There's a dinosaur with spots that's going to eat me!!
D: I'm going to eat you.
A: No! Don't eat me!!
D: Mmmm. I like mermaids. [Chomp, chomp, chomp]


*THE END*

Curtain call:

For the sake of blogging

I have nothing of utter importance or interest to blog about, so I am just blogging so I can keep that one checked off of my unofficial new year's list.

I can also check another "non-goal" off my "non-resolution" list: Exercise. Believe it or not, I started exercising last night. (I know, I almost died from shock too...that reaction is to be expected.) Kennedy and I layed out our mats on the floor in front of the television and had some kickin' fun with Winsor Pilates. Hopefully I can lose a few lbs and inches before bikini weather comes along, which means I'll probably have to exercise a few times a week. We'll see how often I actually end up doing it. And then after a while I should be able to be ultra flexible and skinny. And then I can be a Pilates instructor. Since that's what I've always dreamed of.

<---I can totally do this. No problem. I'm actually in that position as I'm updating my blog. Right now. And I look that good, too. In fact, I think that's actually a picture of my body, except someone superimposed that chick's head on it.

And this is me, too. After tanning for about a year. ---->

I was really bugged that they put all those stupid cursive letters all over me. It took the focus away from my flawless skin. Psh.

Now that you all know what my hot bod looks like, we'll move on to more bits of randomness.

*I am so proud of Justin for reading the Twilight series. He's now in the middle of book 4 and is sacrificing sleep to finish it.

*Christian Bale is hot.

*I am going snowboarding with Ashlee, soon. I haven't been for over 5 years so I will probably be falling on my arse the entire time. But luckily, she says she will be, too.

*Speaking of Ashlee, she just sent me this picture and now my life is complete.

(Ashlee made those tu-tus. She's super talented.)

Horton does a what?

Let's see how I'm doing so far:

• Taking more pictures- Check.
• Blogging more- Check.
• One judge brownie per week- Check, as long as I don't have any more until next Monday...
• Exercise... um...
  

Ok, I'm good on 3 so far. Not terrible. Aim low and I'll never be disappointed.


So for Christmas, Santa brought Kennedy the game "Horton Hears a Who," where you spin a spinner, move your "guy" across the board, put on a little elephant headband and run/hop/crawl/flap/tiptoe to the whatever-colored Who clover (which Kennedy places all over the living room) and then bring it back before the timer runs out.
I was obviously a little too excited while hopping to the pink clover, Justin flapped like an eagle to the red clover, and Kennedy was the perfect little Horton getting all the other ones.

Oh- and you can't use your hands to pick up the clover. You have to plant your face into whatever piece of furniture has the clover on it while trying to get the velcro to stick. (You like the cool piece of art? It was from my mom for Christmas. I love her sense of style.)
As fun and exciting as this game is, I don't know how many more consecutive days I can play it. We might have to "lose" it for a week or so...

Do you have any fun or not-so-fun family games you play?

Resolutions, Shmesolutions.

Just like television, I think goals are overrated. The only thing that comes from me setting goals is minor to major disappointment in myself. So I figure, why set goals?

Instead, how about I tell you what I will possibly do this year, if I get around to it? (Yes, you can argue that these are considered "goals," but whatever. To-may-toes, to-mah-toes.)

1) Blog more often.

(Oh, and I'm going to be very vague on many of these "non-goals" so that I have less chance of disappointing myself)

2) Eat less sugar.

3) Don't have more than 1 judge brownie per week.

4) Exercise more. Well, I guess just "Exercise" would be more accurate.

5) Take more pictures.

6) Go on a vacation. Maybe 2.

7) Consider taking Justin on one of those vacations.

8) Put Kennedy's dance video on my blog. (I've now uploaded the video, but only the audio works. It's highly annoying).

9) Write more music and maybe record some of it.

10) Get my Christmas cards sent out (yes, the ones from 2008).